tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
