my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
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