FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
