I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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