i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
