I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
