White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
