margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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