i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
what day is it and did you see me today?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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