Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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