Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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