You were right. It hurts to walk today.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
