Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize