dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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