I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
