how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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