Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
