You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
