My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
