did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
