Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
