do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
