I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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