so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
