As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
