walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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