Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
