Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
