Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
