All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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