Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
