dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
