To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
