I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
