i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Randomize
