even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
