Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
