we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
