I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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