Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
