i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
