She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
