I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
