he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
