they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
