I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize