I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
