I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Did you pee in the oven last night??
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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