We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
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