Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
