Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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