At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
