I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
