we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize