how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
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The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
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He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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