My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
