We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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