She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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