His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
